Willpower Is For Fat People

Because getting in shape shouldn't suck

Dieting has ALWAYS sucked

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When I started this blog I asked what you don’t like about diets. The results have been remarkably consistent right from the beginning:

  • It doesn’t work, and
  • You can’t stick to it.

Which is funny, because if it’s not working why would you want to stick to it?

Darya Pino over at Summer Tomato made most of the same points plus a few more when she explained 10 Reasons Dieting Is Idiotic. She also pointed out that dieting screws up your thinking about food. You start seeing food as the enemy, instead of an enjoyable part of life.

This is not new

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World’s simplest diet

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There is actually a restaurant in Dallas that serves pre-portioned, packaged meals that you buy and microwave right there in the restaurant. It’s like the Lean Cuisine aisle at the grocery store, but not frozen. I’m not kidding.

Okay, so the restaurant was founded by a personal trainer whose clients wouldn’t or couldn’t follow his nutritional advice. That’s cool, actually: See a problem, do something about it. I can respect that.

So how is the execution? Well …
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You have better things to do than count calories

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Calorie tracking spreadsheet

Photo by syvwlch

Remember second grade when your teacher asked what you wanted to be when you grew up? Maybe you wanted to be a cowboy, or a doctor, or an astronaut, or a supermodel. Or a tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian. Sure, why not? Aim high.

But one thing I can guarantee you didn’t say is, “I want to be the world champion at weighing and recording every scrap of food I eat.” If you did say that, please go find another blog, because I don’t have the training to deal with that kind of emotional disorder.
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BLT on fried cheese

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There’s a farmers market down the street from my office once a week, and the tomatoes are coming in. Which means it’s BLT season.[1] Since I don’t eat toast, my first thought was to do it as a lettuce wrap. Then I had a revelation …
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Hell yeah, it’s a low carb breakfast!

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Who says you can’t serve flank steak rolled with spinach and swiss cheese for breakfast? I sure ain’t saying it.

Jenn found these steaks at our neighborhood butcher’s shop — Hi Josh! — and bought a couple more than we needed for dinner. I think she expected them to be lunch the next day. I couldn’t wait.

In case it’s not obvious from the picture, I just fried it up in a skillet with some bacon fat. Put a lid on top so it would cook through before it burned.

When I flipped it over, I added the three eggs around it (with a little salt and pepper). Lid back on, until the eggs are just barely set on top, then slide everything out onto the plate.

Oh my God, why did I spend so many years eating freaking cereal for breakfast?

Hell yeah, it’s low carb!

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“Don’t you get tired of always being on a diet?”

Okay, first: I’m not on a diet. School kids don’t stay up late on school nights. Grown-ups don’t get drunk during the week. I don’t eat carbs until the weekend. That’s not “on a diet”, that’s how I eat.

Second — and here’s the important part — that picture up there is what a typical dinner looks like for me. Pork chop with pan sauce, roasted mixed vegetables, and mashed steamed cauliflower.

Yeah, cauliflower. Bet you thought that was mashed potatoes in the picture. And if I served it to you without telling you what it was, you’d have thought the same thing.

So you tell me … Would you get tired of eating like that?
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The academic version of “Have you always been this stupid?”

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Stupid written across your face

Photo by Major Redneck

Scientists and academics have a special way of talking to each other. It’s stuffy and formal and … okay, it’s a bit pretentious. Apparently it’s not nice to call each other “stupid” in front of normal people like you and me.

But when you speak fluent sarcasm, you can still point to the stupidity in a way that’s pretty hard to miss. Like the following letter from Tom Naughton to a diabetes researcher with an inflated sense of self-importance.
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How to start low-carbing

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Motocross start

Photo by Jez Elliott

People keep asking me how to get started on a low-carb diet. I want to punch them in the head and scream, “Repeat after me: It’s not a diet when you stop eating crap!”

Then I think that maybe I’ve had to answer this question once too often, and maybe I should lighten up a little bit. [Note from Jenn: “Yeah, you think?”] [Read more…]

Barney Fife knows more about nutrition than your doctor

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Check out what passed for “conventional wisdom” in the world of Andy Griffith.

Now ask yourself: Were there more fat people when “everyone knows” it’s bread and potatoes that make you fat? Or are there more fat people now that “everyone knows” it’s fat and red meat that make you fat?