Willpower Is For Fat People

Because getting in shape shouldn't suck

I’m going to be a very bad boy

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Cheesesteak

This weekend I’m going to a wedding in New Jersey. Which means I’ll be near Philadelphia for a couple of days. That means cheesesteaks. And hoagies. And The Last Stand.

Three meals I need to fit in. And only one day to do it. Hmmm … I have a feeling I’m going to miss my weekly goal by just a little bit.

By the way, I just put up the first article explaining what Undieting is all about. Along with the recipes I’ll start posting tomorrow, I’m going to be putting up a series of articles explaining the guidelines I follow, and why they work. You’ll need a free guest membership to read the rest of the articles, so click here to sign up now.

UPDATE:

Sally called me out for a hypocrite down below. Well, she was nicer about it, but I am being a hypocrite. Just today I was saying over on Summer Tomato:

Don’t eat out (often). And when I do, don’t worry about eating healthy. As long as I’m only eating out once a week or less, it’s a complete non-issue.

Thirty-plus years of anti-food messages are hard to shake. Thanks for the reminder.

Undieting

UnschoolIf you’re not living under a rock you’ve heard of homeschooling. And if you’re raising kids yourself and looking into your options, you may have heard of unschooling.

Unschooling is based on the idea that children are naturally curious, and if we don’t impose a structured curriculum they will seek out things that interest them. With support from their parents, they will learn everything that formal school is supposed to teach, but it will be because they wanted to learn it.

I was ready to hear it

I first read about unschooling while I was trying to decide how I should be eating. I knew that I was overweight, but not so much that I wouldn’t be seen in a swimsuit. Assuming I could find one that fit … Hmm, maybe that was a bit of a problem after all.

What really got to me was when my older daughter fell asleep watching TV and I had to carry her upstairs. I realize she’s getting bigger, but one flight of stairs carrying a 10-year-old shouldn’t leave me that winded. I want to be able to do things with the girls when they’re teenagers, and that wasn’t going to happen the way things were going.

Along comes unschooling

I read about unschooling and realized that it’s supposed to solve the same problems people have with the way most people eat:

  • There’s a set of “conventional wisdom” that we all think we’re supposed to follow.
  • It’s designed for everyone — which means it’s designed for no one in particular.
  • And it doesn’t work all that well.

Don’t get me wrong, lots of kids go to school and get a decent education. The same way people go to residential weight-loss clinics — like on the TV show The Biggest Loser[1] — and they lose weight. It’s pretty easy to make some kind of progress when you’re stuck there with nothing to do but what you’re told.

But what happens back in the “real world”? The kids look forward to time off so they can stop learning — because learning is a chore — and the dieters go right back to the way of eating that put them in the clinics to begin with.

What unschooling aims to do is make learning a natural, enjoyable part of normal life. It’s not something you do because you have to, you do it because you want to. You enjoy the learning process itself, and you want things that you can only have by going through the process.

That’s exactly what undieting is.

Eating shouldn’t be a chore

When you’re “on a diet” you’re doing something unnatural. You’re eating food you don’t like, or not eating food you do like. You tell yourself it’s only for a while, just until you get down to your target weight. It’s work.

It’s no wonder diets don’t work. And they don’t. You wouldn’t believe how badly they don’t work. (How does 99% failure rate grab you?)

Maybe the biggest problem with dieting is how it makes you look at yourself. When you are always “on a diet”, you think of yourself as someone who always “needs to lose weight”. It’s not something you’re doing, it’s who you are.

Is that you? Be honest with yourself.

Are you "on a diet" right now?

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Don’t diet … eat

In three years of writing about food, I’ve come across plenty of people who eat well, clearly like food, aren’t constantly hungry, and are in much better shape than the average person. So I looked at how they eat and why, and figured out what all of them have in common. I put all that together and tried it myself and it works.

That’s how I started Undieting. And now that I believe in it, it’s time to start telling other people about it.

Keep reading

[nonmember]You’ll need to sign up for a free guest membership to read the rest of the series as they come out.[/nonmember]


1) Obviously I am not being paid by The Biggest Loser for mentioning them.

What do you call …

By


Image by Chris at You Look Tired

… a cross between an elephant and a rhinoceros?

Elephino. (Say it out loud.)

… someone with no musical ability who hangs out with musicians?

A drummer.

… people who use the rhythm method for birth control?

Parents.

… someone on a low-fat diet?

Fat.

Okay, that’s a little unfair. What I meant to say is: Someone on a low-fat diet is going to be fat.
[Read more…]

Your diet is a jerk

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We all knew that girl in college who had the boyfriend nobody liked. Everyone knew he wasn’t good for her … except for her.

I don’t mean he was beating her or anything. But for some reason she was constantly apologizing, either for him or to him.

I’m sure he didn’t mean it that way … I should have remembered … I don’t know what I was thinking …

The only thing he ever made her feel was that she wasn’t good enough. Everyone could see it but her.

And now she’s on a diet.[nonmember]..

Sign up for a free guest membership to see the rest of this post.[/nonmember]
[ismember]

You don’t owe your diet anything

If your leader suggests a goal and you don’t reach it, do you feel like you let Weight Watchers* down? A little guilty because you only lost a half-pound instead of the three pounds she wanted?

What the hell is that about? They’re the ones who are supposed to understand weight loss. That’s what you’re paying them for. And somehow it’s your fault that it isn’t working?

That’s completely backwards.

It’s not your fault

Trying out a diet that doesn’t work is no more your fault than being mistreated by a boyfriend. (Or girlfriend.) Sticking around and thinking that everything will work out if only you worked harder … Now that’s your fault.

Einstein — the general relativity guy — said:

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

But that’s exactly what people keep doing. They try a new diet for a month and it isn’t making a difference. So they resolve to just do it harder. And this time it will work.

Don’t believe me? Look at the results I got when I asked, “What’s the worst thing about most diets?” The most common answer — at just about 50% of all responses — was “I can’t stick to it.”

Lots of ways to blame yourself

Here’s the results from 638 responses as of today, 3/25/11. (Readers could choose two answers, so the total is more than 100%.)

Response % Votes
I can’t stick to it. 49% 310
The weight comes right back. 22% 143
It doesn’t work. 20% 130
I don’t like the food. 16% 105
It’s too expensive. 16% 102
I don’t have time to make the food. 14% 91
I can’t go out to eat. 6% 41

 

Five of those answers — I can’t stick to it, I don’t like the food, It’s too expensive, I don’t have time, I can’t go out — are all different ways of saying, “It’s my fault.”

Only a fifth of the respondents said the biggest problem with diets is that they don’t work. And barely more than a fifth said that the weight comes back. So maybe it worked for a little while, but then they got off the diet and it came back, which sounds like another way of saying, “I can’t stick to it.”

There’s only one right answer on that list. The problem with diets is that They. Don’t. Work. Diets fail — people don’t fail, diets fail — because they set the wrong expectation from the beginning.

It’s not a diet if you like it

Let’s start with what most people mean when they say they are “on a diet”. Darya Pino writes about food for The Huffington Post, SF Weekly, KQED Science and Edible SF. (She also has a degree in molecular and cell biology from Berkeley, and a PhD in neuroscience from UCSF.) So she knows plenty of ways to talk about food, and she doesn’t even use the word diet any more:

I don’t like the word diet because for most people it conjures up ideas of deprivation, rapid weight loss and temporary changes. I think the only way to achieve permanent, long-term health and weight loss is through a lifestyle approach.

I also think everyone has to find what works for them, because when it comes to food and taste one size does not fit all. “Healthstyle” combines the idea of a lifestyle approach to health while giving you the freedom to find your own “style”.

Don’t think it’s just about the word, though. The point is if you eat “diet food” until you hit your goal weight, then go back to “normal” eating, you can’t expect anything to last. You’ve got to find a way to eat that will get you to your goal weight, and that you’ll want to keep eating once you make it.

It’s not dieting … it’s eating

Vegetarians aren’t on a diet, they just don’t eat meat. Jews aren’t on a diet, they don’t eat pork. Goldfish aren’t on a diet, they don’t eat french fries. Okay, that last one might not be a fair comparison. The point is, there’s a difference between deciding how you want to eat and being on a diet.

Don’t go on a diet. Diets are jerks. They make you feel bad about yourself. They don’t give you anything in return. And they don’t work.

Kick your diet to the curb, and decide how you want to eat.

* I’m obviously not affiliated with Weight Watchers, and they didn’t approve this message in any way.[/ismember]

Founding Member Signup

I spent three years writing How To Cook Like Your Grandmother before I realized I was missing a key point. Sure, all of my recipes were exactly like you’d see in your grandmother’s kitchen. It’s the menu planning that I was getting wrong.

Cakes and pies were for special occasions. Sweets were a rare treat. If someone did need to lose weight, they cut out bread and potatoes. And it worked.

I was that close to a way of eating that would correct my weight, and I didn’t even realize it. So I took the last few steps … and started dropping a couple of pounds a week. I lost 50 pounds and got on the right side of 200 for the first time in a decade.

Without hunger, without bland food, without willpower.

Holy crap, this stuff works!

I’ve been working for nearly three months putting together a ton of stuff about what I’ve been doing and why. This is the condensed version of everything I’ve learned over those three years of writing about food. And I’m ready to start showing people what works.

  • I’ve set up a private forum for members to share recipes, ask questions, give and get encouragement, meet other people in your area.
  • E-books with recipes, tutorials, and tips on how to use them.
  • Interviews with some of the best writers and researchers I’ve discovered.

Basically, it’s everything I wish I’d had three years ago. And it’s almost ready.

But I need some help.

No matter how much testing I do, I don’t really know for sure that everything’s going to work right until the first people actually try it. If you agree to be one of those first people, you can lock in a special rate of only $4.95 per month for as long as you’re a member. Once I confirm things are working, I’m going to shut down this offer and the price will go up to $14.95 per month.

I realize this requires a little bit of a leap of faith on your part. So I’m extending the regular 90-day guarantee for a full year. If you decide for any reason you don’t want to be a member any more, I’ll refund everything you’ve paid so far.

Monthly
  • Join the crew on a month-to-month basis for $4.95 / month.
  • Private forum.
  • Get answers to your specific questions.
  • Get weekly checkups and encouragement.
  • Special offers and freebies by email.







Annual
  • Join for a year and get two months free — $49.50 for the whole year.
  • Set a target and track your progress.
  • Figure out what works best for you … so you can do more of that.







Dont’ forget, that’s 3 months ONE YEAR to make up your mind


If for any reason you decide it’s not for you, you’ve got a full year to say so and I’ll give you a full refund. No questions asked.

No, wait … I will ask why you want to leave, but not so I can pressure you to stay. You’ll get the refund no matter what, but if things don’t work out I’d like to know how to make things better for next time.

What’s wrong with dieting?

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Photo by Tripp

I hate diets. The biggest problem with them is … Well hold on a second. Tell me what you think.

Pick one or two answers. Feel free to leave a comment explaining your answer, or offering a different one.

What's the worst thing about most diets?

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