Americans spend billions of dollars per year on diet pills, and the amount is growing fast: $35 billion a year in December, 2006, up to $40 billion a year by January, 2008.*
But you don’t need pills to kill your appetite, all you need to do is read about this guy Steve just before you go to lunch. You won’t be able to hold anything down. My gift to you for a Friday morning.
Here’s a sample of the “food” he tried and what he thought.
Potted Meat Food Product
Surprisingly, it was a little spicier than I expected. Although, that sensation may have been a by-product of my tastebuds dying.
Pickled Pork Rinds
For all those times I wondered what it would be like to gnaw on my grandmother’s thigh, I was about to find out.
Beggin’ Strips
And somehow these Beggin’ Strips also managed to smell just like bacon. Oopsie. Typo. I meant to say “the smoky puke of a thousand maniacs.”
Natto
Unfortunately, swallowing didn’t help dissipate the flavor.
There are several others, including the most vile-looking thing I’ve ever seen: Cuitlacoche
I thought about putting this picture up top, but I just couldn’t spring that on you without warning.
Steve, Don’t Eat It will turn your stomach over and over. You’ll think you’ve seen the worst, then you’ll get to the one that “smelled like rotten eggs tucked into the anus of a dead cat.”
Yeah … I think I’ll be skipping lunch today.
* In that Businessweek article I linked to up top, Derek Thompson has this to say:
There’s no getting around it: Diets don’t work for the vast majority of Americans. But before we add to the chorus of diet doubters, we need to consider why so many Americans gain back the weight. It’s easy to blame the diets, but it’s more accurate to blame the dieters.
Derek, can I have a word? It’ll only take a second. Derek … you’re a dick.